WOW

I tell you when you are used to people telling you that you are pretty or beautiful, but not with much conviction, it is kinda nice when you get that candid expression of HOLY CRAP! What I am refering to was when I got my hair dyed. It was down afterward and I went to show one of the girls in the back, while I was showing it to her, I noticed one of the guys just kind of staring at me, trying to unload boxes, but going slower than his normal pace of neeeyoooowwwwmm!
So I asked him what was wrong, he said in a weird voice that he had never seen me with my hair down. then he said wow. I said good wow or bad wow? he said good wow. It was such a candid response, such an honesty from surprise that it made me feel like i really was pretty, you know? So now I wear my hair down more often. Although I think he has noticed this change, and has probably thought, oh she likes me, blah blah blah, but it isn't the case, he is a nice guy, but a young one. It is just that he made me feel genuinely beautiful. I like to feel that way, it is all too rare that it happens though. Well I have to get up early so I will post another time about reflections and imaginations that i have had lately........ if i remember.

RED FLAGS PLEASE READ

RED FLAGS TO LOOK FOR IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP:


1. Did/does your partner get very serious about the/a relationship very quickly, saying "I love you" very quickly, wanting to move in together or get engaged after only a few months, or pressuring you for a serious commitment?
2. Did/does your partner come on very strong, is extremely charming and an overly smooth talker?
3. Are they extremely jealous?
4. Did/ does your partner isolate you from support groups, wants you all to their self, try to keep you from friends and family or outside activities?
5. Do/ did they attempt to control whatever you wear or do or whomever you see?
6. Is/were they abusive toward other people, especially mother or sister if a male?
7. Does your partner reject your right to decide if you'll use birth control?
8. Do they blame others for own misbehavior or failures?
9. Do they abuse alcohol?
10. Do they have unrealistic expectations, like expecting you to meet all needs and be the perfect partner?
11. Are they overly sensitive- acts hurt when not getting own way, takes offense when others disagree with an opinion, gets very upset over small inconveniences that are a normal part of life?
12. Have they ever been cruel to animals?
13. Have they ever to your knowledge abused children?
14. Have they ever to your knowledge hit a partner in the past?
15. Have they ever threatened violence even if it wasn't a "serious" threat?
16. Does your partner call you names, puts you down or curses you?
17. Are they extremely moody, and switches quickly from being very nice to exploding in anger?
18. If male, believes that women are inferior to men and should obey them?
19. Is intimidating, for example, using threatening body language, punching walls, breaking or throwing objects?
20. Does your partner hold you against your will to keep you from walking away or leaving the room?
21. Was or is abused by parent?**
22. Grew up in a home where an adult was abused by another adult?**
23. Does your partner reject your right to decide to work at a paying job?
24. Does your partner refuse to let you spend time alone?
25. Is your partner upset that you have your own friends?
26. Is your partner have trouble accepting the fact that women can and should be as wise, worldly, confident, strong, decisive, and independent as men?
27. Does your partner refuse to talk and listen?
28. Does your partner hide from the fact that their feelings are hurt?
29. Does your partner think it is bad for men to show they are weak or vulnerable and to cry sometimes?
30. Is your partner unable to express affection aside from the times they are sorry for abusing you and when they want, or you are having sex?
31. Does your partner lack good friends?
32. Does your partner lack interests besides you?
33. Does your partner ask you about other partners in your past life?
34. Does your partner want to know where you have been when you have been out?
35. Does your partner believe that husbands/ significant others should make the important decisions?
36. Does your partner rejest your opinion?
37. Does your partner think there are any circumstances in which it is okay for a man/woman to hit a partner?
38. Is your partner jealous of your friends or relatives?
39. Does your partner think you are with someone else when you are not at home when they call?
40. Does your partner think that men should earn more than women in the same job?
41. Does your partner especially want baby boys and associates fathering boys with masculinity?
42. Does your partner think you have enough education even though you want to go to school?
43. Does your partner get angry if meals are late or food isn't just right?
44. Does your partner take over when you are having trouble doing something whether you want them to or not?
45. When your partner is hurt, do they act angry instead?
46. Does you partner silently sulk when angry?
47. Does your partner ridicule you for being stupid, or for characteristics that are typical of women/men?
48. Do you like yourself less than usual when you have been with your partner?
49. Has your partner ever spent time in jail?
50. Does your partner sometimes put you on a pedestal, saying they don't deserve you?
51. Are there qualities you especially like about yourself that your partner disapproves of or ridicules?
52. When you have acted independently, has your partner called you a dyke or women's libber?
53. Has your partner ignored your feelings?
54. Has your partner ridiculed or insulted your religion race, your heritage or class?
55. Does your partner insult your friends and family?
56. Does your partner humilliate you in public or private?
57. Does your partner refuse to socialize with you?
58. Does your partner try to keep you from working?
59. Does your partner try to control your money?
60. Does your partner try to make all the decisions?
61. Does your partner make excuses for not working?
62. Is it all right to spend your money but not theirs?
63. Does your partner's punishment of children seem excessive?
64. Does your partner tell you about past affairs?
65. Does your partner tell anti-women jokes or make demeaning remarks about women?
66. Does your partner treat women as sex objects?
67. Does your partner get jealous and assume you would have sex with anyone?
68. Has your partner publicly shown sexual interest in other men or women?
69. Does your partner call you names like "frigid" or "whore"?
70. Has your partner had affairs after agreeing to a monogamous relationship?
71. Does your partner assume the right to control how you live and behave?
72. Do you rehearse what you are going to say in order not to make them angry?
73. Do you often feel confused, off balance, or inadequate with them?
74. Does your partner blame you for everything that goes wrong?
75. DO YOU FEAR HIS OR HER REACTIONS?

**Numbers 21 and 22 do not indicate that a person will be abusive. The majority of children who grow up in abusive homes choose not to be abusive as adults. However, these children still have a higher likelihood than other children of growing up to be involved in abusive relationships. These factors should be considered with other factors.

You can follow these links for more information:
Why do women stay?
What parents need to know

scooby doo sized REEAALP!!!

I need some help. My friend Jenny just found out she was preggers. She is six and a half weeks, so yea. She and I were throwing around some unique names for a boy. If you can think of anything that is unique for a boy, please feel free to put it/them in the comments area of this entry.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

LOOK INTO MY EYES and prepare to get dizzy

What do you see?

One teacher said, "I felt like they were all moving...but slowly. Kinda like, they were breathing."
The pictures attached are used to test the level of stress a person can handle. The slower the pictures move, the better your ability of handling stress.
Alleged criminals that were tested see them spinning around madly; however, senior citizens and kids see them standing still. None of these images are animated -- they are perfectly still.

For me, however, it depends on my mood. If I am hyper, they move faster. If I am relaxed, they don't move at all.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER

A couple had only been married for two weeks the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back"
Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the Refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 Different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of Saying was, "Yes, Lollipop.. but at the bar.. You know... they have frozen Glasses... "
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?
LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"
and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?

Why Women Are Crabby

We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.
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Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
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Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

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Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

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Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.
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Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.

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After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

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Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?
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When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
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So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

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Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks... ---------------------

So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex?"

Yeah right. Bite me.

Man Of The House

There were three guys talking in the pub.

Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives,

while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,

"Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"

The third fellow says,

"I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed.

"Wow! What happened then?" they asked.

The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and uttered,

~*~

"She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.'"

THAY WHA?

There was a church that had a very big-busted organist.

Her breasts were so huge that they bounced And jiggled while she played.

Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.

The very proper church ladies were appalled.

They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.
One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons, (if you eat them they make you pucker, because they are so sour) and rub them on her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size. She agreed to try it.
The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and said, "Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol we will not hath a thermon tewday."

FORD BETTY OR DODGE RHONDA?

When a woman wears leather clothing;
A man's heart beats quicker,

his throat gets dry,

he goes weak in the knees,

and he begins to think irrationally.

Ever wonder why?

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Because she smells like a new truck.

Succeeding when life throws you spit balls:

I am giving a detailed list on things that I need to do, ways to get them achieved and when to have them all done by.

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I need to get my license.

I have already begun the process of that. I have my learner's and my step dad let me drive around a bit on Sunday. I will see if my mom will let me work on my maneuverability today before she has to leave for work. My goal is to have my license by June 30, 2007.

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I need to get a job.

I have already put in applications and have had a very promising interview with Wal*Mart, and have already done the drug test, which I know I passed. I am just waiting to hear when I start. I have been offered a rate that I have never been paid before, so of course I took it . If I do not get this job for some unknown reason, then my goal is to have a job and have already been paid for at least one(1) pay period by May 1, 2007.

STATUS: ACCOMPLISHED April 5th. First paycheck April 19th

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I need a car.

I have talked with a local women's shelter counselor about a car, once I get closer to having my license, we will start looking at deals. I am aware that I will have to have my own insurance, title, tag, etc., so my goal will be to save up enough money for it all by September 15, 2007.

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I need my own place.

Whether it be upstairs apartment, duplex, or house, I need to get out on my own. I have been somewhat on my own, paying bills etc., so I know what it takes. Since the Holiday season is rapidly approaching, I will set my goal for being on my own, at January 14, 2008.

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Nice little birthday present for myself. After most of that is said and done, I will be able to save to get a divorce. That is what I need most of all. to finally have the freedom, and the closure to put that abusive relationship behind me. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger and such seemingly meaningless platitudes as that. Only it is true. I have been told by several people that I am lucky to be alive, and that I am strong to recognize that I could leave then and that I should. I told one person that it was not strength and courage that got me through, but blinding fear and my mother.

Now that I have my goals out in the open, I can focus on how to instead of what to...